Making amends.

With myself and my wife.

With God and my own life.

I can't change the past.

But I can change myself.

Thank God for what He has done.

Thank our Holy Father for His Son.

Thank the almighty Creator and His Son.

                                                                                          

https://chatgpt.com/share/672ab20c-cbfc-800e-81a2-d029842f4639

I used to feel this confused:

https://genius.com/Papa-roach-scars-lyrics

(I was reminded by that song because of the choosing of words: "I gotta move on with my own life!" )

Thank God for setting me straight.

For sure I still like the sound of the song.

Bur it will probably mostly more and more become a reminder of what used to be.

Thank God it was not too late.

What I wish I knew.

Helplessness?

👆* Click *

Who? What? Why?

I really love to ask questions lately, now more than ever xD
And I can only imagine people's annoyance sometimes because of this :')

But I think that asking the right questions is key to finding whatever it is you are looking for...
Assumptions and socially accepted behaviour on the other hand...

The new Icon for a hire's song "Supposed To Be" made me think ( <insert puns here xD ) ...
Much flown trough my mind with this simple question "Who am I supposed to be?" which is the first line of the song...

Group-pressure, the need for acceptance, the wanting for fitting in...

I've been there too, and for some parts; I'm still there o.O''
How assertive and extrovert people might think I am...

You might not know the masks I'm wearing too,
unless you we get real uncomfortable with each other...

Which i.m.h.o. has a big chance to be a good thing, no strong and/or good characters have been formed under comfortable situation xD

This so called society/community we've made doesn't work. and the only reason we keep it standing because we don't know how to change it and we are afraid to change it.
But when has angst ever been the right drive?

Are we going to walk the wide road and give ourselves submissively into all?


I get it, you are tired, I'm tired too...

But in the long haul... Won't it be worth it?

You obviously can't stay where you are now.
Changes need to be made.
And you/we need to start somewhere.

Looking back.

I always thought that looking back was a bad thing.
And you should not do this...
Just keep looking forward; never look back. Just keep pressing on.

But now I feel more than ever that I need to look back.

Because...

When I look back...
...that's where I see the distance I have already traveled.

There I see the paths I can now choose not to take, because I know where they've led me.
There I see all the things I have al ready accomplished.

Thou shall not mourn!

So many people keep telling each other that we must go on, keep looking forward only, and not think too much about the past.
And also; you cannot mourn about the following things:
-Past relations
-Dead goldfish
-Divorce
Because this is either silly or unnecessary in other people's eyes, so it should be in yours too.

But I've found out the opposite is true.
Only if you really mourn about these things it really gets the place it deserves, and you will finally be at peace with it.

I'm not telling you to constantly think and talk about you dead goldfish or you ex, but sometimes; when it feels right. (Dosed)
Theres no need in ignoring your feelings and things that have been part of your life, you shouldn't push it away, but rather share about the good stuff and try to be constructive about the bad.

Give it, and yourself the space you need.

Are we going for short term or the long term?

It's a very fine line between what you want, and what you actually need..

Wanting being: right now.
Needing being: on the long term.

And it seems infinitely easier to do what you want. And you reap instant benefits. (Neglecting all the short and long term negative effects.)

Whereas doing what you need can look like a mountain high, but it is much more beneficiary on the long run.

You're doing it all wong!!! [ptII]

There's all these things in my head telling me I am doing things wrong, that I'm a misfit, that I suck at life...
Is it even me who said this?
(or are these someone else's old rantings?)

And do I even agree?