Thou shall not mourn!

So many people keep telling each other that we must go on, keep looking forward only, and not think too much of the past.
And also; you cannot mourn about the following things:
-Past relations
-Dead goldfish
-Divorce
Because this is either silly or unnecessary in other people's eyes, so it should be in yours too.

But I've found out the opposite is true.
Only if you really mourn about these things it really gets the place it deserves, and you will finally be at peace with it.

I'm not telling you to constantly think and talk about you dead goldfish or you ex, but sometimes when it feels right.
Theres no need in ignoring your feelings and things that have been part of your life, don't push it away, but rather share about the good stuff and try to be constructive about the bad.
Give it, and yourself the space you need.

Are we going for short term or the long term?

It's a very fine line between what you want, and what you actually need..

Wanting being: right now.
Needing being: on the long term.

And it seems infinitely easier to do what you want. And you reap instant benefits. (Neglecting all the short and long term negative effects.)

Whereas doing what you need can look like a mountain high, but it is much more beneficiary on the long run.

You're doing it all wong!!! [ptII]

There's all these things in my head telling me I am doing things wrong, that I'm a misfit, that I suck at life...
Is it even me who said this?
(or are these someone else's old rantings?)

And do I even agree?

You're doing it all wrong!!

I keep telling myself how much I am doing wrong; but how much am I doing right?

I'm doing shitloads right!! :D
I'd almost say I'm kinda getting it; this thing called 'life' 😂

Let's agree to disagree.

In life you got beaten either physically, verbally or both...

The younger you are, the bigger chances are that you make them your own.

...you might even take over some of the exact words and repeat them to yourself your entire life.

But the big question is.. 

Do you agree?

...to these messages that are not of your own.

Stupid psycho! ᵖᵃʳᵗ²

What if one of my great wheel-chaired buddies say; "I know I'm physically disabled, that I need a wheelchair, but I'm not going to use it."

Wouldn't that be silly?

more than just using one, and let it defy who you are?

You are not your wheelchair, you are not your support group, you are not your clothing, poison or music.

You might me part of you, you might be part of it, but it does not defy you.

Your character, standpoints, morale and (re)actions do.

I love all of you whom try to do your best<3

(especially if you have not much tools at hand)

And don't forget; Kill 'em with kindness ;)

panic vs. focus

When you panic you loose oversight and the mental ability to focus on what the options are and.. What is important...

You either freeze or end up doing something that has not the highest priority...

So try to remain calm, and when you can't; try to find out afterwards why you really panicked.. What is it's true source?

acquaintance-zoned

In times of need... You get to know your real friends.

Sometimes only to find out that you have less friends than you thought...

But that only heightens the value of the ones left <3

 

(You know who you are ;) )

Who am I supposed to be?

The new Icon for a hire's song "Supposed To Be" made me think ( <insert puns here xD ) ...
Much flown trough my mind with this simple question...

Group-pressure, the need for acceptance, the wanting for fitting in...
Broken home, child-care... Label-wearer, damaged goods...
Bullies, work, this system we build that weighs us down...
T.v., school, and the constant access to everything trough the internet...

So much that forms and defies us.

But...

Who are you, and...

Who are you supposed to be?

Extra=Click "Read more"

Take a chill-pill

I wish the pills and creams would all work as advertised, it would be so easy...
But I found out the hard way that they are either; not helping, contradicting or patches with other side-effects. Not once in my entire 26 years of living had I used an medicine that wasn't amongst those 3 categories, and I had quite my share of this...

And I can tell you now with certainty; almost none problem can be solved without removing or handling the underlying cause in any way.



I have been using either astma-, adhd- or exemea- medicines (on medical 'specialists' advice) over the complete course of my life so far.

And nothing worked better than changing to, and maintaining, a proper life style.
Eating healthy, exercising a lot, (having a decent sleeping pattern,) having a low stress level,
and a good ol' dose of head space to process everything that comes your way a day.

Happy relationship

If you're not both benefiting from a relationship, if you're both unhappy, why have a relationship at all?

And why bother starting one if this is not your reason to have one?

Silences

Awkward or a necessity?

Somehow we think that at a date silence supposed to be awkward; but how can you enjoy the moment, each-other, the activity if your yapping all the time? :')

Self-confronting; I used to hate silence because of this...

When talking with my grandma on the phone, when we talk about the bigger subjects or between subjects, we are just silent on for many minutes at a time; I used to think is awkward, but now I just enjoy the head-space and the extra time on the phone with her :)

People always say, forget the past, ignore the past; keep moving forward.

I tried this; but it just doesn't work with the bigger problems.

For example: With boxing, you sometimes need to take a step back to give a good punch.

It was hard to not remember this song when writing this xD

Good advise.

Would we recognize good advise when it stomps us in the face?

For instance: when my grandma gives me advise, I listen. But sometimes I forget, and/or this young part of my silly brain that really likes to fall on it's own face just blatantly ignores rationality in general xD

Most of the time I end up doing what she advised me, either by carrot or by stick :')
Nah; I'ts just that she says things that are spot-on. (Like she told a neighbor once: "I'm always right.", meaning; 'I don't open my mouth and cram out b.s. just for the sake of talking', she really tells thing that she really thought about combined with experience, the neighbor didn't get what she was saying btw :') As did I, but oh boy; do I now  xD )

How can I ignore good advice?
Do I recognize it when it hits me in the nutsack?

Next time I will just try her advice, and if that doesn't work out I can always try satisfy this silly part of me brain (instead of the other way around ;) )
But the hardest part of this it to sit it out and make it your own :P






And remember kids: Don't dink and drance ;')

Stupid Psycho!

Am I stupid for needing help and taking it?

Or would I be stupid if I didn't?

'Nam soldier

Guerrilla war...

Heightened senses, overly sharp.

Always shooting at things that might or might not be there...

 - - -

The war is long gone.

Why aren't you adapted?

Why haven't you evolved?

Why not let go the past?

Or is it you, in ít's hold?

 - - -

Processes are always slow but steady if done well..

(It's easier to break something than fixing it, to create chaos than resolving it.)

Unless it's unnatural; but than it's probably just a temporary fix.

True to yourself

Even if you do it right, you'll always do wrong by someone.
So.. you might as well stay true to yourself ;)

Divided by yourself.

My love

Don't try to live up to or uphold the standards from all those shitty magazines

These standards...

That rejected you in the first place.

Extra=Click "Read more"

You are what you...

This one kinda might sound a tad dark, and might be unpopular with the masses.. but I really think this applies...


You are the people you surround yourself with.
If you like it or not; chances are that you'll either already look a bit like all of your friends or you are becoming to look like them; it is kind of inevitable and logical...
You need to love whom you hate to not get overtaken by this, but it does not mean you have to spend more time and energy in these persons than you have to.

You are what you fill your eyes/brain/mind with..
When you read/watch/listen the news; how can you not care less / not deaden over time?
(The hardest part for me is to be unable to make changes to the horror we see)
If you watch porn; how can you not fall the slightest bit in detachment on the matter?


You are what you fill you body with.
You can only be as healthy as what you put into your body.
I never heard anyone complain about eating too healthy :')
I've only heard people not balancing there food out right; mineral and/or taste-wise.

In other words...
You are what you consume.
Whatever you fill your heart, brain and time with.

And we all know; Consuming unhealthy...
No matter which way we consume...
Sooner or later it will take its toll :\




Do you have more things you think that fit right in? Feel free to let me know! :)

My schizophrenic angel

My schizophrenic angel

Tonight, Lord

I have asked you

to send me an angel,

which would tell me

what to do and

what to leave.

But you sent me

to myself

to be my own messenger.

Being my own schizophrenic angel
for myself.

As my own light unto my path

that shoots on when I pass myself.

- - -
This was actually in a genuine Christian book for faith-tangled teenagers xD
I think it is hauntingly beautiful in it's own way ^^ :3

How did you interpreted this poem*?



 (*Is this called a poem? Or is there a English word that better specifies this summary of words?)

NL

Are you ready?

I don't know for sure, only time can tell..

But for now.. I think that the only way for me to really be ready for a relationship is...
To immensely self-reflect and to be really at peace with myself (and the being alone part)



What do you think that prepares you for an future stable relationship?




Bonus: Three Days Grace clip with parts of the Hilary Duff movie 'Raise your voice' :')

Fair warning.

How can one put it's mind to rest if we're constantly filling it?
Mostly with garbage that is :P

I cannot press this to your heart too many times..
Give yourself, your brain.. The time to process things!

On our few precious moment we actually have the time to choose what we do with it..
We make even more noise; we fill up our eyes and ears, maybe to feel sedated.. Because the alternative is too confronting, to painful...
Or because we're used to; addicted maybe even.. to reach out for our phone.. to put on our tv..

But there's no real escape to this..
Either your brain catches up with you.. When you want to sleep.. Maybe you'll get a burn-out somewhere along the road...
or you end up being a person you actually despise...

Concessions and choices..
You'll have make 'em either-way; or life lives you.

Simple things

I really do like to hang out with people and even go to festivals and stuff..
But what makes a moment good/great/or maybe even awesome?

I've found out that for me it helps to let go of previous misconceptions:

- Silences: Uncomfortable? Or just relaxed? ( < A very widely mistake made on dates)

- Image: Better close to yourself than being a uniform sausage :")

- Not exactly liking the same: Better that we do not all like the same right? (.. Otherwise we would all look alike ... which would mean that we would fancy on ourselves xD ... although, with all that narcissistic hassle nowadays.. it seems we're no stranger to this :P I think it's a good thing that everyone has their thing; there are always common grounds :)

- Speed: Rather good instead of rash :)
(Feel free to give me some more examples and other ways to think :) )

And to chew on what made a moment good...

What made your good moments good?

And what makes moments that should be good bad?

If you know what you like and dislike; you will have much more good moments..
...at least; if you make 'em like that :)



List of things I like:

Awkward Relationships

People can be awkward as f#ck xD

Just like me in my own way/sometimes/I guess :')

But some people... if you look further than the surface; they're amazing ^^

...

And isn't going past the surface the only way to maintain or begin any type of relationship in the first place?

I'm even annoyed by my best friends sometimes, but I think..

After arguing/discussing it out (and maybe even not agree in the end..).
Having an awkward moment...
(Not forgetting what's inside these peoples hearts)
The going past this point like adults..
That's worth everything!

These kind of moments really deepened my relationships with some friends and family;
and it got rid of people who weren't a good addition to my life anyway...

Don't be frightened to have an awkward moment; It might just be the best thing happen to you ^^

Don't be too hard on yourself :)

Whenever I'm taking driving lessons and the instructor gives me an instruction; I assume that I must do this perfectly.
Because in his instruction I do not hear "try" or anything like this...
Just this command/instruction :P

And off-course; I fail terribly...*

He says;  "pull the car over"

Omg; here it comes, I've messed it up.. again.. story of my life.. I'm a fuck-up..

First thing he asks me: "What's on the roof?"
Huh? What's he talking about? Is this some kind of dreamy metaphor?? :')
"It's an L isn't it?" He asks..
And adds: "An L for learning; not for knowing"

And that's exactly it.

We didn't got out of the womb with all the knowledge in the world.
We didn't get all the proper education on school we needed...
And I sure as hell didn't got all the handles/tools in my upbringing that I needed :P

We all need to do our own falling on our face :')
And probably we don't learn from the first time xD

But if you accept that you are learning and your are really trying; that's good enough.

No need to be negative and hard on yourself..
If anything; it's quite the self-destructing thing to do.





* ...because my standards are way to high
(which I assumed these were the instructor's standards)

Take the time to know yourself.

How can you expect someone to like you for your passions if they have withered?
Or if you never really had one to begin with?

Your true passion; the one you find when you are finding yourself.

You need this if you want to find the job that suits you...
And if you want a more stable&fulfilling life...
(which includes partner relationships)

Full head

Whenever you're chaotic, feel unfulfilled (like feeling alone) or satisfied; feel like you didn't do enough that day that was useful
Chances are; You either want to sedate yourself or solve it (purchase/consume).

Whatever makes you feel so bad that it's consuming you,
This feeling got out of hand... for whatever reason.
Either conscious or subconscious (maybe a trigger)

The best thing I've found out you can do is the opposite what your brain wants to do:
Take a good moment of rest that is ;)
Close your eyes let your brain actually process some stuff for a second.
Maybe be in the sunlight
Think about good things in your life (how few they may be)
Think about God if you feel like it
And maybe even do whatever relaxed movement you need to do,
Maybe the exercises you got from a fysiotherapeut anyway (now's a good time to do it ^^ )
or some yoga-like movements you maybe seen somewhere...

For me this works; a little calibration moment

Take time for yourself; the world is noisy enough as it is.

It's easy to give into it; to sedate yourself, and it works for the short term; but on the long term it is harder to get out of patterns and habits...

Why do I/we do the things I/we do? (Like: allow so much noise in our lives)
This is a very good question I ask myself many times to reflect upon myself.

Dating

People trying too hard to come off as kind.. and perfect
and others their expectation that you are this and this alone.

In the history of dating; it looked most of the time like a job-interview xD

Why not expose your true self and be accepted for who you are instead of walking on eggshells for the rest of your life?

To love yourself... so you can love others

This is for all the good guys who are always focused on their fellow human beings and loose themselves in it and/or forget themselves.

You are not inexhaustible.

How can you help one another when you're empty?
When you have nothing more to give?

How are you your own person when you have no boundaries?

NL: